Monday, February 4, 2013

Goldy Locks, Porridge & Pity Parties


Goldy Locks, Porridge & Pity Parties

I get asked a lot of times, how I stay so upbeat, undiscouraged and in a good mood. Frankly, I don’t really know. But I do. I always have. Ever since I was a child the word “No” or “You Can’t” never registered with me. No dream was too big and no task was too hard to get there.  I just set my mind to it, envisioned it and saw myself through. I’ve always had a lot of help and support from friends and family. I asked one person why she’s always helped me. She said because I try so hard and finish my goals.

I heard once on the radio on one of those annoying AM talk radio stations my father makes me listen to driving with him, an interesting take to my lifelong dilemma. How is it that I bounce back from things sooner than other people? They spoke of a “survival gene”. They say some people are just born with it. Well, I must have been, because I seem to always see sunny skies even amidst the darkest and coldest rain.

It’s no secret I’ve never used drugs. I’ve never really drank much. A few times in college, but I really don’t ever have anything. I’d rather save the calories for a bowl of porridge with nuts and brown sugar on top or a big fat brownie alamode!  I eat pretty clean. So no secret night under the covers tapping into my secret Oreo stash. I don’t have any vices like that I lean on to feel better. So I was trying to figure out how I do it?? How do I stay so happy.



Today, I realized something that I wanted to share with anyone reading this. I had someone do something kind of shitty. It left me feeling really badly. I feel taken advantage sometimes or unappreciated and I feel myself start to wilt. I usually just stare at the wall for a few minutes almost paralyzed. I know you all have done it too. But then something always happens. I verbally yell at myself! Lol. I say, “get up off your big a** and go do something!” I found myself today, walking over the kitchen cabinet, grabbing the peanut butter and taking a spoonful of peanut butter. It made me smile! I walked over to my cat, pet her, then dug for some change in a drawer. I grabbed an old fortune lying around the house and brought my change to the Mini Mart across the street. I filled out the numbers and paid. By the time I got back home, I was smiling even more. I didn’t even let 2 min go by being depressed. You can’t. It will eat you up. You have to get up, move, and do something proactive for yourself.

I found myself starring at the lotto tickets imagining all the wonderful things I could buy for my friends and family and fantasizing about all the folks I could really tell to kiss my big white (sometimes tanned) butt! I started to write a song in my head then sing it out loud and think of all kinds of projects I could list out and accomplish this week.

I guess that’s how I do it. All these years I have “faked it till I make it” in my own mind. And you know what? It works! When you feel like crap, go over to the mirror, make a stupid, gross and ugly face, and you will smile! Maybe even start laughing! And there is nothing better than laughter and making fun of yourself.

Don’t ever let anyone piss on your parade or cornflakes. Just realize they have their own problems and issues if they attack you and go back to your business. DO NOT LET others control your mood no matter how hard it is to do. Don’t let yourself slip into a pity party. Rather focus on all the things you want to do and accomplish in your life and start dreaming of how you will achieve them. Because dreams do come true. Everyday. But there are no Fairy Godmothers. That’s only in Fairy Tails. You have to work for it.

There will be no pity parties here. Life is too short. Take care of your business, your families and partners, but always remember to take care of you. The first thing they say on the airplane is “put your OWN oxygen mask on first before assisting others. Remember that. Do that in your own daily life by remembering to smile and laugh. It’s worked for me for years. That and a little chocolate…




Thursday, January 31, 2013

F the word Fan.


F the word Fan.

Why you will never hear me say the word “fan” pertaining to people whom I meet along life’s entertainment journey.

So many entertainers today use the word “fan.” I hate it. I always have. To each their own, but I’ve never liked or used it. I find it presumptuous and almost condescending. Look it up. It means “fanatic.” That’s reserved for people screaming for The Beatles, Elvis or Justin Beiber. People coming to our shows aren’t screaming and trying to rip off my panties… well sometimes. J.

These days you should be grateful and blessed anyone comes out to any show you have. Have you noticed how many musicians there are these days? Through a rock, you’ll hit one right now. They are a dime a dozen, and maybe my humble little attitude hasn’t gotten me as far and as quickly ahead as the other assholes, but I’m going to keep this demineur.   It’s more me.

Success comes and goes. And you should be appreciative of every little bit of it you receive.  I’ve seen it. It’s my life and my story and I’ll be damned if I ever forget being nothing, “making it” on a decent scale, loosing it all, falling flat on my face, being completely humbled, and now starting an upward climb. Only this time around I’m a little, well, a lot wiser. And kinder.

I wish everyone could have complete destruction and failure in their live. It taught me the biggest lesson I ever learned. Humility. And therefore I can’t even fathom using the word “fan.” I say supporter or even friend.

Friend is a pretty big word for me. Because someone has to “earn” my friendship. I just don’t give that one away. And you have to keep or maintain it too, or you fall from grace quickly. I don’t have time for any bull shit in any area of my life. I’m too driven and too focused. And that crap slows me down. So I take friendship very seriously and also the people I meet along the way. Especially the ones who are good to me.

There is just this beautiful couple who comes to are shows. One day I heard they were getting married, so we pulled them up on stage and sang the Goldy lockS Pepsi Jingle to them and gave them both a pop. J. These folks played right along with it all. They hammed it up all the way.  They contacted me after that, and asked if the band would come play “It’s A Sure Great Day For A Wedding” and pay their reception. I couldn’t have been more thrilled or honored.

Every time I see these people, they brighten up my night. They have no idea I’m usually feeling drained, maybe down, tired, exhausted or like the weight of the world is on my shoulders trying to keep all this “fun” going. But when I see them, it all changes. I remember why I chose being a musician and an entertainer. Because I get to see those smiles. They actually make me believe I make a difference in their lives and cheer “them “ up. So as you can see, I could never call them “fans.” That would be rude. They are way to special for that.

I received an email a few days ago. It was horrible. This woman’s fiancé was killed in a motorcycle crash. In all that pain and heartache, she took time to email me that there would now be no wedding and she hoped that wouldn’t ”screw up” our plans. Wow. Talk about selfless and considerate. These are the types of people who come to our shows. And their constant love and kindness is the reason I keep going in the industry I work in. She blew me away.

This woman also is the silent contributor to the 2nd prizewinner for our Pepsi Jingle Contest. She wanted to offer the runner up $200 cash as well. She sent that money so some kid could go on a trip for school or whatever, and conquer the world. Talk about an all around tremendous human being. If anything, I am “her” "fan", or better said, "admirer."

She told me that the Pepsi video of her and her late fiancé is the only video they had together. Again, I am truly honored that the night I brought them up on stage, I forgot about my own crap and decided just to entertain. I’m glad I could contribute in someone else’s memory. So happy for that.

I’m asking the same of everyone reading this. Please go to this YouTube link,  


and leave a kind message for this woman. This one really matters. So if you have just a moment, offer it up as a prayer. She is about as real as it gets. Just say something positive and make her feel surrounded by love as all of you always do for me.


You're as beautiful and real as they get Miss Josie. What a better person I am for having me you. My condolences. And may your incredible fiancé forever rest in peace.



Screw the fans; I’d rather have friends. Goldy